• Types of Infidelity
  • November 28, 2017
  • Infidelity in a marriage – by someone with whom you have built the foundation of your adult life and family – can be devastating. Infidelity is a lack of loyalty, and that can come in many forms beyond sexual unfaithfulness. When trust is broken, it can lead to the fracturing of a marriage and family, and eventually to divorce.

    The destruction of a marriage can begin with these types of infidelity:

    Misplaced Priorities – If you are married, your loyalty should be with your spouse and family first. You are treading a path toward unfaithfulness if you put your friends or your career ahead of your marriage. However, if your marriage is strong, you have someone to rely on, a secure and happy family, and a strong foundation for your life. This leads to success in all other areas of your life.
    The Grass is Always Greener – The assumption that life with another partner would be better and more satisfying can lead to dissatisfaction and fantasies of someone other than your spouse. If you begin to pour your energy into imagining how exciting your life could be with someone else, you may be on the road to the ruin of your marriage. All relationships have flaws, and ups and downs. Use your energy instead to build up the relationship you already have, and to honor your commitment.
    Keeping Secrets – To maintain trust and confidence in each other, your marriage should be transparent. There is no place for lying or hiding things in a marriage. Your finances, your conversations, your text messages, your relationships, and so on should be above reproach, and there should be no need for keeping secrets.
    Hiding Your Marriage from Others – There is no acceptable reason to hide the fact that you are married. If you wear a ring, removing it is the first sign that you have something to hide, or that you may be considering taking a step that could destroy your relationship.
    Threatening Divorce – Threatening your spouse with divorce – even if it is an empty threat – can cause the disintegration of trust in and respect for each other. Marriages thrive when relationships are secure and grounded.
    The Emotional Affair – Your marriage is in trouble when you secretly seek attention and affection from someone other than your spouse. It can begin innocently -with good rapport and a strong connection – but it can easily cross the line. Keep relationships outside of your marriage at an appropriate distance.
    Blame and a Failure to Apologize – When you make excuses, blame your spouse, and fail to ask for forgiveness, you are creating a hostile climate for your marriage. Saying you are sorry when you are wrong, and, likewise, accepting an apology from your spouse, can safeguard your bond.
    Not Being There – When your spouse needs support, encouragement, solace, or just a shoulder to cry on, you should be each other’s first resource. Not being there disrupts your connection, and leaves a spouse feeling alone.
    Harsh Interactions – When your tone is harsh, it creates anxiety and a fear that prevents you from interacting honestly. Calm, cool, loving interactions create an environment of emotional harmony.
    Trying to Win an Argument – If someone “wins,” that means that someone loses. Always remember that you and your spouse are on the same team.


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